Something else to chew on

So I have been less profound of late. Watching Robot Chicken while blogging does little to bring out one's inner Plato. However, an evening at Kairos has sparked my philosophical side.

In the beginning there was the Word, and the word was with God, and the word was God. The direct translation of word is Logos, or meaning. I found this fascinating. The Bible does not start with God, it starts with meaning. This is powerful to me, as Christianity is then founded on the essence of relevance, importance, and substantiality.

This is telling in our present time, when Americans are without nothing but a cause. Depression, suicide, midlife crises, and the pursuit of wealth, power, and fornication all have roots in one thing: a life without purpose. What pursuit is truly worth our time and energy? Ecclesiastes sums up these feelings as Solomon proclaims everything to be worthless. This statement was made during Israel's Golden Age, when Solomon had hundreds of wives and concubines, and endless wealth.

The idea that the pursuit of sex and money is empty is not an entirely profound one. It is not original either (there is nothing new under the sun, another bit of wisdom from Solomon, which he plagiarized). But for the Bible to START with this, is to say that this is the one thing we should know was at the inception of the universe. If we are looking for meaning, we know where to FIND IT! Even Atheists must admit Christianity, and I speak of a brand that is not seen too often in Christians, is a great calling.

I am struggling with meaning, and I have not found it. I am bored, and frustrated, and stir crazy. I want a big change, I want to enter into a new stage. One thing I have found exciting is to think the best parts of my life are yet to be lived. So many things, such as starting a family, falling in love, having sex, and financial stability are yet for me to experience. Wonderful things, God-ordained things, are still in my future.

But another thing was said tonight that caught my attention. Mike Glen made a statement about how finding the will of God was much like swimming with a current. At first, you feel it should not be as easy as it is. But really, misery is not of God, and if you find yourself miserable, there may be something you are missing. Looking back at my own life, the times I was miserable were the times I was doing many unhealthy things. I find myself miserable at times still, which makes me realize I need to change. I need to be proactive in my life, and do more things to help others. I need to volunteer my time, and volunteer my money. I need to serve someone other than myself. And if I do these things, I will dispel that hovering cloud of malcontent. For when I feel lonely, or angry, or helpless, it is because of my own selfishness.

Another American crutch is our lack of enemies. I have nobody who I want to kill, nobody who I would say I hate, nobody who I strongly dislike, and only a few people I would purposefully avoid at a grocery store. But I am my own enemy enough to compensate. I fight myself, and hold myself back. I am crushed under the incredible weight of my own mind.

Perhaps the single most damaging state of mind is to believe people cannot change. And along with this is the assumption that a single person is incapable of changing the world. We all carry in ourselves a master switch. If we can just find a way to flip it, everything will change. You can change, I can change. We can bend the universe together. We can grasp ahold of the Word, sink our teeth into it, and taste passion, cause, and urgency. We can find the one and only thing that is not, as Solomon says, worthless.

The List

In an effort to make my life more interesting, I have come up with a list of possible ventures. This Great Awakening has come around through a combination of two dynamite silver screen smashes, Starship Troopers and 21. The first of these made me lonely, the latter made me lonely. The first of these made me realize how boring my life is, as did the second. But the second made me realize there's something I can DO about it!

THE LIST

1) Begin a SERIOUS blog ("serious" being defined as a specific commitment to a regimented post on a specific topic). The following topics may apply:
a) Web Design Technologies - Comments on libraries and new technologies available on the web
b) Entrepreneur Brainstorming - Random thoughts and get-rich ideas for which I lack the means to ever make successful.
c) On My Mind - Though the demographic for this topic is small and shrinking, for my own peace of mind I may indeed vomit my ideas, as i am currently doing on this blog, but regularly.
d) A Story - This is the most promising of the bundle. I could blog my story. This is even more likely to direct traffic away from my site, but one I would enjoy the most. And I might get a publication in the process!

2) Begin a SERIOUS iPhone app
a) An application allowing the aggregation of many RSS feeds, and updating them all at once via text and/or web access.
b) An application for reading / formatting eBooks.
c) An application funneling all of your private photos directly to ME.

3) Begin a Social Experiment
a) Ask random people out to lunch, regardless of whether it's lunch time.

4) Begin an OpenSource Project
a) Wordpress-type site, which allows installment on a server to create your own personal website (rather than JUST A BLOG). This would include a back end, homepage, customization, and social networking to other similar sites.

5) Create a desktop application
a) Application interfacing with TOPOS to allow desktop updating (while on tour or exhibition, etc).
b) Music Notation Application

The downside to all of these ideas are... none of them really make my life any more adventurous or exciting. And the excitement-level of these are all contingent on their success. With success comes excitement. With failure comes a huge waste of time. Of course there's also the issue that the opposite sex is not in any way the end results of any of these ideas, and most likely the opposite.

So I need a plan. I need a plan to capture me a specimen of the opposite sex, that will also boost the excitement level of my life, and while at the same time possibly attributing to my future financial success. Any ideas? I'll keep searching...

-Ozwald