Thoughts on Spirituality

I went to church today. Yes indeed it is true, I affilliate myself with that religion. I cannot claim the title "Christian", for I am certain I hardly meet the criteria. I sang scarcely a word during worship, and I missed most of the speech due to my mind leaving temporarily to develop a sermon of its own. I do remember the pastor being a very sincere character whom I was satisfied with.

There was a section on the service where I distinctly remember multiple church-goers crying. Maybe they were tears of joy, and maybe they were tears of sadness. I'm not sure. But it confused me. Why is it always in these overly-intense moments that people find God? It's with hands raised and tears streaming down their face. I have never found God in these situations. It is when I fall down on the couch laughing with my best friends, or when I see the intependent benevolence of a young adult, or when I whipe sweat from my eyes and see instead a glorious landscape of mountains that I see God, and quietly say "thank you."

God is present in all areas of life. He should not be recognized only between the pews of a church aisle. And that means we have "real" moments with him outside the pews. God is not all intense happiness and intense sadness. He is the subtle joys and the solemn griefs. It would be awkward if your spouce was always exploding with excitement when he saw you. There is a place for comfortable silence. This is the same with God.

I remember as a child, my church would have these intense worship sessions. They gave me a distorted perception of God. God is only there when you're overwhelmed with lights and sound and thoughts and emotions. The heaviness of it all was too much. I didn't want that god, and I still don't. I wanted peace, love, happiness, and the other six fruits of the spirit. Well, I haven't found those yet. But I know where I went astray. Anyway, if anbody reading this knows where they can be found please let me know.

-Whistletrunk