Unfortunately, it is true every time I post, I am in a poor state of mind. Or at least usually. The last long while, I have been feeling pretty spectacular about life. Everything has looked pretty promising. However, tonight marks a failure. Tonight marks another time where I find myself in a place of total dissatisfaction. Why does this happen? Some people go their entire lives without this feeling. I suppose there is nothing to do but buck up and know tomorrow will be better.
I have told my friends the only way I could consistently keep up with a blog is if I wrote about the opposite sex. It constantly consumes my attention, and ever produces fresh material. It is almost always bad material, unfortunately. My failings are inevitably highlighted, and I return at the end of the day as I started, with nothing.
I hate to be specific. These situations are always so petty, and in retrospect are embarrassing. It is never the girl the hurt is for, but for my inability to obtain something I want. It's a small reminder in the back of my mind that I've failed again. The females themselves are not important. And the sad thing is, I haven't even failed in any concrete way. I always back out as soon as there's a sign of competition, or an indicator of defeat. I run for my life before it has been made official. What a foolish approach! I still am as I always have been: my own worst enemy.
While this post has been depressing no doubt to read, in it's composition my sadness has been absolved. My troubled mind has received a shot of Novocaine.
*** Midnight Update ***
All is well with said situation. She came back to say what's up, and we talked for a while. It was really great. In the end, I am a child craving attention. When will I get over it?
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